Ahhhnold vs. Adrien

Decisions Decisions!

I think I might have written about this before but the issue has come up again--when purchasing something, what's the best way to go about it? Given that we literally have virtually an unlimited amount of choices out there, what should be the process that one goes through to arrive at a decision when buying something, particular something with great value, financially speaking?

In the past, I've always been an advocate of "do comprehensive research on your available options and then pick something". However, I'm not sure if that's the right way to go anymore. Advocates of this process make the assumption that 1) you will, in fact, arrive at the best decision and 2) time is unlimited.

There's no doubt that you want to spend ample time researching what is the best for you, especially if the item you're considering costs a lot. But there's such a thing as being too thorough. Intuitively, you would think that if you research all the brands, look up all the details you don't understand, read every review, etc. it would make the correct, or best choice, stand out to you.

That is not necessarily the case. Increasingly, I've found that due to the sheer number of choices we have for any given item today, learning about all of them in order to make up your mind about which to buy can be overwhelming, and even confusing, not to mention time consuming. One thing I noticed is that the more time I spend trying to decide which to buy, the more unsure I become when I make a decision.

So I've amended my process:

1. Decide on what you need/want. What are your requirements for this item? (Size? Color? Brand? etc.)
2. Rank your requirements in terms of importance. (Is brand more important or color?)
3. Decide on a budget. (What's the maximum amount you would be willing to spend on this item?) <-- Note: don't be too lenient with this one. If you only have $100, don't make the budget $300 (and think that "oh, I'll manage")! What will end up happening is you might see a lot more items that you like, but in the end still lean towards the less expensive option because the reality is: you only have $100.
4. Research only on the items that fit your requirements and budget. (I would say 3-5 options to delve into details should be plenty)
   
5. Make a decision and execute! (Buy it! Don't wait.) <--If you wait, you might change your mind (but not necessarily for the better). Also, the deal, if there is one, could be gone. Lastly, I find that if you waver too much between options, the option that you finally decide on will not seem as good to you.

Hm...I guess overall, my process is still the same. But the main emphasis is:

1. Research only what your requirements and budget dictate.
2. Make a decision quickly after doing the research.
   

The Institution of Marriage

It disappoints me to learn that one of my friends just recently became engaged and he's not excited about it. I repeat, he's not excited. Not excited about getting married. Every time he mentions it, he seems to be down. In fact, I believe he used the word "stressed" every time I asked him about it (and no I didn't ask him that many times...only twice).

It's normal to be stressed about a big event that you're looking forward to -- that's good stress. But whenever my friend speaks of this, he makes it sound like a chore, almost like he doesn't have a choice.

I've never really thought about how people feel about getting married. What's there to think about? Wouldn't they be excited? Happy? Isn't that obvious? Only recently have I started to realize that that's not the case for MANY people. Only recently did I learn that, yes, people really do get married for reasons other than having found "the One". And frankly, I'm shocked.

Most of these reasons can be largely grouped under one category: societal pressure.

"All of my buddies are getting married, I don't want to be the only one that's not."

"I'm at that age."

"She's pregnant."

"We've been dating for a really long time, what is there to do next? Oh--let's get married!"

Am I surprised to hear these reasons? No. But I am surprised that there are actually people out there justifying their decisions to get married with these reasons. I can only imagine how these marriages will turn out. I guess only time can tell.

On the other hand, I'm starting to think maybe this another one of my idealisms that I've never tapped into and brought back to reality (I've had to do that with many of my other idealistic tendencies). My whole life I was brought up to think that you were supposed to marry for love and happiness. You were supposed to "marry" the person you love and will bring you happiness. I probably sound like a naive 6-year old right now, but it's honestly what I've been brought up to believe. And don't get me wrong, I have heard of these reasons being used--just not by people close to me. People that I interact with everyday.

And I realize that not everyone get married due to societal pressure, but I'm starting to realize that a greater amount of people probably do than I have previously thought. And this, to me, is a little depressing.