Stacy's Mom

Holy crap! If you google "stacy's mom has got it going on", my blog is the 4th result!! How amazing is that!?!?!? Wow...I feel so public...

This means, if people knew that my blog, that H's blog, is named "Stacy's Mom Has Got It Going On", they can totally read what I've wrote for the past...4 months! Only...I don't think that many people knows that my blog is called that, except for the ones who read it. And if they already read it, there's no need for them to google it, which means, the people who don't read my blog but would like to, probably won't get to. Now I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing... I suppose it's always good that my readership is increasing.

On the flip side though, I feel like I have to watch what I say more and more because more and more people are reading my blog. It started out with just a bunch of my close friends knowing about it. Then, after I put it in my AIM profile, everyone on my buddylist who read my profile know about it. After that, I put it under "website" on Facebook, so now all of my facebook friends potentially know about it. After that, I told all the interns and some co-workers about it in an introductory questionnaire. What's more? Whenever I comment on someone else's blog, whoever reads that blog can potentially come across to my blog... The potential readership is probably even bigger than what I've already included... It all gets very complicated.

Here's the thing...I feel like the more people I tell about my blog, the more constrained my posts are. Well, I just feel more constrained in terms of what I can and can't say. For example, I can't talk about people at work because some of my co-workers know about my blog. Do they read it? I don't know. Probably not. But there's still a chance that they could. Had I just kept my audience to my school friends, I could write about them, and there would be a very very small chance that they'd come across it (the only way is to type in "stacy's mom has got it going on" into google and click on the 4th link). When I say "write/talk about them", I don't necessarily mean I'm going to go behind their backs and say bad things about them, I just mean I can't say things as freely in general--good, bad,..etc....

BUT...the contradiction is this: I'm always trying to expand my readership.

So I think in the end, I just end up focusing on myself--what's going on in my life...etc. Hopefully that doesn't make my posts less interesting...

hm...you know, somewhere in my head I'm thinking: screw this, this is my blog and I'm going to write whatever I want!