The Art of BullS***ting

You know how when you were in middle school and high school in your English classes, there were always those people who NEVER read the books but who ALWAYS knew what they were talking about when the teacher called on them? Well....I wasn't and still am not one of those people. I just don't understand how they do it. I mean, yes, they're basically talking about nothing, but they make you think that they're actually talking about something. And you're convinced that indeed, they are saying something useful. How? How do they do it?

Basically, whenever one of these people open their mouths and start talking, you pretty much get drawn in so much that you forget that, wait, you knew that too. But for some reason, if you had just try to say what they said, it would sound like utter gibberish and the teacher would most definitely be like, "H, what are you talking about? Have you even read this book?" Gah!

For me, I always have to read the book like...10 times, think about what it is I want to say, actually say it in my head, and then, if I get called on, produce something that's boundaryline coherent if I'm lucky. I think it has to do with the fact that I, for some goddamned reason, always start thinking about something else midsentence. I'd be like, "So the reason why Holden hates Sally is because Sally's --[thought comes in]--Oh, nevermind." Well, I can't think of a concrete example, but you get the point. I'd start saying something, and then, right when I'm about to make my point, I think about something else that's related to the topic that makes me doubt the point I'm about to make, then I hesistate and end up not making any sense. It always happens!

Another thing that I do whenever I have something to say, is build up people's anticipation DESPITE the fact that I actually want to downplay it. It's like, I try my best not to build up their anticipation, but doing that actually helps the anticipation. Ok, so here's what happens. I always prepare my audience by saying that what I'm about to say isn't that important, blah blah blah. But I end up spending so much time explaining why it's not important, that the people get impatient and want to hear about the actual thing more and more. This might not make any sense to you and...I'm sorry, but I can't think of an example to illustrate what I'm talking about.

Back to people who BS, I don't know if these BSers actually go behind everyone and read up and just tell everyone they don't so as to make everyone believe that they're BSing everything they say (which produces the opposite effect on people--i.e. people are actually impressed by what they say) or they really do have a talent for pulling things out of their ass (which, heck, is even more impressive)!